The Book is Finished

If you had asked me five years ago where I would be in five years, you might have been the only...

Sun, 16 Jun 2013 18:12:22 -0400

If you had asked me five years ago where I would be in five years, you might have been the only person with a question good enough to shut me up. At 16, I wasn’t concerned with much besides girls and getting through the rest of high school, and, as it turns out, I did pretty badly with both of those things. After high school ended, I was faced with the daunting task of deciding where to go to college, and what to study there. I picked business because I was still enamored of the music industry, and business was the closest degree to what I wanted. Turns out, I hate business, so I switched majors to english. That probably would have worked out fine if I hadn’t gotten kicked out of my dorm for smoking weed in the bathroom, but, y’know… I got kicked out of my dorm for smoking weed in the bathroom.

So it was back to my parents’ house for me. I finished out the year commuting back and forth from Arlington to Flower Mound, and then community college on and off for a few semesters, all while working at the Container Store’s distribution center, my first full-time job. It wasn’t long until I fell in love with the company. It also wasn’t long before I was convinced to go to my first music festival in Austin. After one visit, I knew it’s where I wanted - needed - to be. Nothing else ever satisfied after that. Everything seemed a little duller when I came back from those Austin visits, so I made up my mind to take a step out and move in with one of my best friends, and here I sit 11 months later.

What I’m getting at is this: I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life 5 years ago. Hell, in a way, I still don’t. But that’s not a fair question. The best thing I’ve done with my life is not something I ever would have figured I’d be doing. I’m just lucky to work for a company that is able to work with my needs, lucky to be surrounded by people I love, and who genuinely enjoy my company, and lucky to have the parents who told me anything I want is mine to take if I’m willing to work for it. I always dismissed it as typical parental do-your-best bullshit, but it’s true. When people ask me what I’m doing these days, I jokingly tell them, “I’m living the dream,” and we laugh, but let’s get real: what could be sweeter?

arrestedwesteros: Mrs Featherbottom: Okay, who’d like a banger...

Thu, 13 Jun 2013 00:33:25 -0400

arrestedwesteros:

Mrs Featherbottom: Okay, who’d like a banger in the mouth? Oh right, I forgot, here in the States you call it a sausage in the mouth
Michael: We just call it a sausage

Meet the Veals - 2x16

submission from aliceyarr, @dearbongo, and Denise

smoshrox87: If you don’t think Corgis are one of the most...

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 02:31:59 -0400

smoshrox87:

If you don’t think Corgis are one of the most adorable things on the planet you’re wrong

I’m screaming. I literally can’t

cipritine: “Sometimes you gotta pull away from someone to see if they really care-” no “Sometimes...

Thu, 30 May 2013 02:26:41 -0400

cipritine:

“Sometimes you gotta pull away from someone to see if they really care-” no

“Sometimes you gotta build walls to see who cares enough to-” no

no you get out of here

you leave this person alone with your duMB “LOVE TESTS”

if you are wondering how someone feels

ASK THEM

if they are THAT CLOSE TO YOU that you would SPRING THIS BULLSHIT HIDDEN TEST ON THEM

then you should be close enough to TALK TO THEM LIKE A FUCKING ADULT

If you love something crush it so it can never leave

fuckyeahashes: whats going on here: an adult is bribing a 14...

Tue, 28 May 2013 01:09:52 -0400

fuckyeahashes:

whats going on here: an adult is bribing a 14 year old with sex if he pilots a giant robot. he still does not pilot the giant robot

slight addition: he still does not pilot the giant robot and then she dies

"damn girl, do you shit with that ass?"

Mon, 20 May 2013 06:13:54 -0400

shit-mummy: I LOVE THIS SHIT me on my way 2 steal ur girl

Thu, 16 May 2013 03:45:47 -0400

shit-mummy:

I LOVE THIS SHIT

me on my way 2 steal ur girl

tompeyer: This contraption is a kaboodle of doohickeys!

Thu, 02 May 2013 18:12:45 -0400

tompeyer:

This contraption is a kaboodle of doohickeys!

I give up on girls and life and everything pretty much, well bye

Thu, 02 May 2013 02:38:12 -0400

I give up on girls and life and everything pretty much, well bye

I am going to murder something.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:22:19 -0400

I am going to murder something.

"I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence tests, could not possibly have scored more..."

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 17:23:53 -0400

“I had an auto-repair man once, who, on these intelligence tests, could not possibly have scored more than 80, by my estimate. I always took it for granted that I was far more intelligent than he was. Yet, when anything went wrong with my car I hastened to him with it, watched him anxiously as he explored its vitals, and listened to his pronouncements as though they were divine oracles - and he always fixed my car.
Well, then, suppose my auto-repair man devised questions for an intelligence test. Or suppose a carpenter did, or a farmer, or, indeed, almost anyone but an academician. By every one of those tests, I’d prove myself a moron, and I’d be a moron, too. In a world where I could not use my academic training and my verbal talents but had to do something intricate or hard, working with my hands, I would do poorly. My intelligence, then, is not absolute but is a function of the society I live in and of the fact that a small subsection of that society has managed to foist itself on the rest as an arbiter of such matters.
Consider my auto-repair man, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile hood to say: “Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter and made hammering motions with the other hand. The clerk brought him a hammer. He shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was hammering. The clerk brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he wanted, and left. Well, doc, the next guy who came in was a blind man. He wanted scissors. How do you suppose he asked for them?”
Indulgently, I lifted my right hand and made scissoring motions with my first two fingers. Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and said, “Why, you dumb jerk, He used his voice and asked for them.” Then he said smugly, “I’ve been trying that on all my customers today.” “Did you catch many?” I asked. “Quite a few,” he said, “but I knew for sure I’d catch you.” “Why is that?” I asked. “Because you’re so goddamned educated, doc, I knew you couldn’t be very smart.””

- Isaac Asimov (via skinnybaras)

yo isaac asimov is the shittttt

catsandgames: handsomeransom: remember the time they made a...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:59:18 -0400

catsandgames:

handsomeransom:

remember the time they made a Big Lebowski joke on Powerpuff Girls and I never even knew

The Dude also appeared on the show!

oh my GOD

Rob Delaney: For real: You’re THRILLED that Baz Luhrmann is adapting The Great...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 03:40:44 -0400

Rob Delaney: For real: You’re THRILLED that Baz Luhrmann is adapting The Great...:

robdelaney:

For real: You’re THRILLED that Baz Luhrmann is adapting The Great Gatsby and you’re DOUBLE THRILLED he’s doing it in 3D, or you’re an idiot. I am so absolutely not joking. It’s not the best book ever and he’s not the best director ever but that book and that director could NOT be a better more…

this is actually true tho

Holy shit that powerpuff girls thing has like 50 notes I think I’m officially Tumblr famous...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 02:42:27 -0400

Holy shit that powerpuff girls thing has like 50 notes I think I’m officially Tumblr famous bow down bitches

shirtp: hello everyone tee [get] I would definitely get this...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 02:04:37 -0400

shirtp:

hello everyone tee [get]

I would definitely get this if I had money right now

shit-mummy: the lesson in jurassic park is pay your workers better and they won’t sabotage the...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 17:10:54 -0400

shit-mummy:

the lesson in jurassic park is pay your workers better and they won’t sabotage the security of your dinosaur island

I could have made out with this cute girl from karaoke but now I’m at home watching Community...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 02:02:52 -0400

I could have made out with this cute girl from karaoke but now I’m at home watching Community because I have no idea how to handle myself ever

wanderlustcomic: A journal comic about my great voyage west....

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:15:00 -0400

wanderlustcomic:

A journal comic about my great voyage west. The plan is to document the first 12 months into the unknown while also reflecting on events both past and present.

The run of the comic should be from March ‘13 to March ‘14.

remember the time they made a Big Lebowski joke on Powerpuff...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 03:45:01 -0400

remember the time they made a Big Lebowski joke on Powerpuff Girls and I never even knew

Pitch:

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 02:48:21 -0400

mattfractionblog:

John Saxon and Jim Kelly investigate the murder of Bruce Lee.

OH SHIT